On Women, Marriage and White-Knights
I frequent more than a few forums where the topic of male/female relationships come up. Invariably the tone of some male commentators is very negative towards the modern woman. Also, without fail comes along some man to rise to the defense of women. In one such exchange our erstwhile defender made a mental diagnosis of the misogynist and commented that if he were to act that way around a group of men who appreciated women he would be physically beaten.
Some of the extremely vocal hostility to women can become tiresome but the gamma male routine isn't much more attractive than hyper-misogyny. Why in the world would any man care to assault another man because he speaks ill of women or acts like an ass (I will assume it is not directed at a particular woman at the time)? That type of white-knight stuff is crap. And, I would argue more likely to lead to the white-knight getting pummeled (than successfully living out his heroic fantasy) when intervening in a situation that is a) none of his business and b) being committed by someone much more comfortable with violence than him.
On the whole, women and men are neither better or worse, just different. Better and worse might appear in a fashion depending on the situation/need. One can view trends with a large enough sample. Women do seem to be more antithetical to liberty, but most men have no concern over it either and certainly gave the house away without needing the help of the other sex. Here is why I am a big fan of free association. Hire who you want... see who you want... believe how you want... leave me alone.
But what of the male/female dynamic in relationship to marriage and commitment? For both sexes it is trouble. There is lesser interest in getting married for younger men these days. You can google marriage strike and see numbers on it.
Women give terrible advice to younger women on this topic. 'You can wait... why get married early'. Popular meme... not terribly true from the male point of view (at least the males most open to marriage). Looks are important and a younger woman has the edge there frequently. While female earning and titles have increased in popularity for men (they like the dual income) you are still more likely to find a man who will date 'down' and be fine than you will a woman who wants to date on par or up. There is no doubt a decline in interest for marriage among men. If a woman is wanting a man of a certain traditional value mindset then he is likely looking to settle earlier rather than later. In that case the best ones will go early. Women do face a real biological clock issue. Fertility declines much earlier than is generally recognized. Putting off family can wind up backfiring. With marriage it is hard to say what the rules are anymore. This idea that somehow as you age you become much better does not ring true. The older you are the more established you are. There is good in that perhaps but you also can become less flexible and less willing to adapt and grow with someone than if you are both starting out before you THINK you have it all figured out. I am less interested in marriage now than I was at a young age.
The gamma males, white-knighters and older generations of men seem to resort to a bit of shaming of younger men. Not uncommon in my experience is the claim that they know some (usually in her 30's) wonderful woman that would have been a prize catch in their day. I answer thusly.
From a woman's point of view. Also bemoaning the fact that her 30ish brother's cannot find a decent woman. Finding quality people is not an easy task.
I am not being the least bit concerned about shaming from the other sex or from men 2 generations removed. The gamma males and white knighters are amusing. Women are not to be worshiped or placed on pedestals... they are people and should be evaluated thoroughly if one is considering marriage. Everyone acts in their own interest as they perceive it. It can be beneficial to study what a large portion of the other side perceives as its interest and risks as it relates to what you want. If this leads to one deciding marriage is not for them so be it.
Why are people surprised or dismayed when a man lays out a point of view that is negative to women and somehow doesn't comment on how awful men are too. Most men do not date men... they date women. They therefore are more concerned with how women behave. The burden of ruling out the scum of men is on the females. If they reward scum behavior then it perpetuates it. If they refrain from having scum's children etc then it punishes scum behavior.
The men who have dropped out of marriage in this day and age are not suddenly less interested in women than they were before. It is simply that most of the benefits of marriage can be gained outside of it while taking on fewer risks. This does punish more traditional women, but there you go.
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